He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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