Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
