Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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