yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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