just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
