she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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