If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
