As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
