I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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