It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
