Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
