i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
