Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I could fuck to npr.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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