Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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