that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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