this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
