What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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