last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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