I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
