Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
