So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
