just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
