You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
