I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
