Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
