The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
