Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
