Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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