i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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