mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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