I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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