apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
