So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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