bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
