I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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