I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it because I queefed?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
