thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
