Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
