I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she peed on how many people?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Found your dick twin last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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