Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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