i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
