: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
