no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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