I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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