Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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