how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
