he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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