Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
