So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
