I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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