Betty ford says i'm here all night
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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