I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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