Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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