dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
