i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
