had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize