ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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