oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
