I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
