I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
