I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
