Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
