If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
