Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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